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Is Your Toddler Ready for Toilet Training?

Toddlers can be a challenge for even the most skilled parents. Toilet training is easier on everyone if it is not started until toddlers are ready. If it is started too early, training can end up to be a frustrating power struggle and chore for you, and can cause your toddler to become anxious and angry.

HELP GUIDELINES:

1. There are no exact timetables for determining when to start toilet training.
   • In general, children should be at least 18 months old (developmentally) in cognitive and social development, before they are ready.
   • Children usually do not have the physical control to regulate themselves until they are approximately 2 yrs old.
   • Bowel control is usually achieved earlier than bladder control, but not always.
   • Children typically have “wetting” accidents for the first year after training begins; it is hard for them to recognize when their bladders are full.
   • Complete night control usually occurs much later than daytime control, typically not until 3yrs of age or later.
2. It is best to wait for your little one to tell you when they are ready. The following behaviors are generally good indicators that toilet training can be introduced. Observe to see if they:
   • Remain dry for about 2 hours at a time.
   • Understand simple directions.
   • Demonstrate an interest in being independent and enjoy doing things for themselves.
   • Take pride in new skills and accomplishments.
   • Demonstrate an awareness of the process of elimination, e.g., they point to the puddles on the floor knowing that they were made by their body and let you know when they have wet or dirty diapers.
   • Enjoy pleasing and imitating adults.
3. It is usually better to wait to introduce toilet training if your child is experiencing significant stress, loss, or trauma. These may include but are not limited to: the birth of a sibling, change of day care arrangements, separation from parents or loved ones, hospitalization, or a move to a new home.

Now the Fun Part

The following activities are guidelines and ideas to help your child associate a potty chair with toilet training. At this stage, your child may not initiate using the potty by him or herself. Instead they are learning to use the potty if they are “caught” in time by an adult. Remember during this time to keep your cool and realize that this idea is really new to them.

HELP ACTIVITIES:

1. Give them an opportunity to become acquainted with their potty or toilet seat before they actually use it. Introduce it to them casually allowing them to look at it, touch it, and sit on it, if they want. Showing them how to flush is not advisable unless you want to keep your bathroom door locked at all times. Most kids love to flush the toilet, over and over again. A potty is much better suited in size and has no water needs. It is best to buy the same exact potty for every caretaker, grandmas and or aunts, so that all potties are uniform and not strange.
2. Some parents start out directly with a child’s seat that fits on top of the toilet seat so they don’t have to worry about teaching them how to use the toilet later. Other parents find a potty chair more convenient and just the right size for a little one trying to sit.
3. Of course, your child has probably already watched you or other family members use a toilet. Privacy at this stage is non-existent. It is best to let boys watch other male figures use the toilet and vice versa for girls.
4. Keep a record of your child’s patterns. Do they have a warm wet diaper when they first get up? Do they always seem to have to go right after breakfast or other eating times? You can then “catch” your child by putting them on the potty at those times. Put them on the potty if they are dry when they wake from a nap or from the night. These times are great for success.
5. Use the above “catch” method if you think it is important to train them now. Some children will “self-train” themselves given more time.
6. You can still expect your child to continue to wet or dirty their diaper anywhere at any time for several more months, even though they have developed a pattern.
7. Begin by putting them on the potty or toilet very briefly, only a minute or two, but never more than 5 minutes. Most children won’t mind sitting if they don’t have to sit too long or too often. Don’t make it a fight or unpleasant in any way. Never use the potty or toilet as a punishment!
8. Remember to be calm and patient. Take your child to use the potty cheerfully and matter-of-factly. Avoid whisking them off or rushing them impatiently as this will cause anxiety in your child.
9. Praise all attempts and successes! Never scold or shame them for accidents or for not using the potty. This could cause many toilet training problems. It is important for them not to feel pressured or afraid.
10. As it was mentioned earlier, some children really enjoy flushing the toilet many times even when it is not necessary. Some children are afraid of the toilet flushing. Wait until they are off the seat and let them help flush it. If it is very disturbing to your child, wait until they have left the room, then flush.
11. Encourage your child to let you know when they need to use the potty. Be consistent in the terms you use for “having to go”. Don’t use the word “potty” one time and say “toilet” the next. This is confusing to the child.
12. After your child has had several successes on the potty, put training pants on them. They are easier and quicker to remove than a diaper. If you feel your child needs underwear, be prepared for them to be soiled along with their pants. Again, treat accidents cheerfully and let them know it is ok. Tell them they will use the potty next time.

FINALLY

Finally, after all the diaper changes and wet or soiled clothes, your child will eventually be a “potty pro”. Keep in mind that on average, boys take a little longer to train than girls. Do not compare the age that one sibling was trained with your current toddler. Not all children are the same! Soon you will find yourself running with your child to the restroom somewhere at the most inappropriate times like when standing in line at the store with a buggy full of food and your child has to go right now! Take pride in the fact that you have helped them master this very challenging skill.

By, Lisa McCorkle

FPS, Auberle In-Home Services